Five weeks ago my world turned upside-down. Rob was offered a transfer to Texas, a move we both wanted, and we took it. We could have taken our time to move, but we thought the best thing would be to move as fast as possible to make selling the condo easier. I stand by that decision, but for me it has had some unintended consequences.
The biggest consequence seems to be my loss of inspiration. I have struggled every day for the past five weeks to write, to knit, to cook, because I have let myself get bogged down in things outside of my control.
I can’t change when the condo will sell.
I can’t change my tiny kitchen.
I can’t change how much I miss my friends.
I can’t change the loss of a comfortable space and routine.
For too long I have been focusing on what I miss and how everything is more difficult here. But that isn’t going to help me, and I can’t tolerate it any longer.
No, things aren’t the same. Yes, this is a temporary and transitory home for us. But there is absolutely no excuse for me not being able to write here. My ideas are still there and I am still just as capable of bringing this book to life in Texas as I was in Virginia. It’s on me.
So today I’m giving up on wishing things were different, or perhaps more accurately, wishing they were the same. Today I dig in again, because I know I can fulfill this dream, but only if I try.