Morning Pages, one more time

Well, I think I am now beginning to get a handle on morning pages.  They are finally starting to feel “right.”  I know there’s no real right or wrong way to do them, but now I think they might be helping.

It’s amazing what an interesting tool they are.  I think morning pages could be exceptionally helpful for anyone, whether you’re creative or not.  I’ve been able to define problems in my life that have been floating around me for a while now, and have similarly defined some really positive things I wasn’t aware of.

The Artist’s Way is a little strange.  The author talks about creation as a link to the divine (whether that is God, gods, mother earth… whatever divinity you believe in, creativity links you to it).

I don’t buy into that part of her method, but I have found tremendous success in the morning pages anyway.  They have allowed me to get rid of a number of thoughts and emotions that I have been carrying with me for years, decades sometimes.

I was worried the morning pages would end up being a diary, but they aren’t.  As she says in her book (and I’m paraphrasing), a diary is a record of everything that happened that day.  If you write your morning pages before your day begins, there’s nothing to record.  The morning pages are about your thoughts and feelings, hopes and fears.

I am finding, as I progress with these pages, that they boil down to the very basics of what I want and need.  The morning pages are a place for me to tell myself things that I don’t acknowledge very often.  Sometimes these are positive things, sometimes they aren’t, but it’s always something I should know about myself.

Some of the (less personal) things my morning pages have told me:

I need to move out of this house.  I don’t just want a larger home, but this one is holding me in a period of my life that would be better left behind.  I can’t move on with my life with Rob until I am out of this home.  No, it’s not the house’s fault.  And yes, I love this home and always have, but it’s time to move on.

I’ve made parts of my book too easy.  Adrianna and Donovan need to struggle more.  They can’t find themselves using new and exciting powers until they are in a circumstance to have earned them.  They can’t have them just because it would be handy at that moment.  Sorry kids… you have to do things the hard way, just like everyone else.

I need to introduce a few new characters into the middle of my book.  It’s a long and lonely road from the beginning to the end, and they need more human (and possibly non-human) interaction in there.

I need to ride again, or at the very least be around horses again.  Since Danny died over a year ago, I’ve felt lost in a way.  I feel a little like a defining piece of myself is gone.  When people ask me what I like to do, I almost always say “ride horses, write, read, knit, etc” in that order.  So how can I be me without them?

I really already knew that one, but having it so starkly defined in black and white for me showed how big it is in my life.  Unfortunately, I also know that I’m just not going to ride in DC again.  It’s too expensive, too far away, and there are too many memories for me – both good and bad.  So we’ll see what works out.

I honestly recommend Morning Pages to anyone who feels they have a lot of stress or even just want to know themselves better.  You’ll probably feel pretty stupid at first, I did, but you just might learn something about yourself that you weren’t paying attention to.

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